I believe you!


Hello Survivor,

I see you crouching in the cavity of darkness.
I hear your sobs and see your tears.
I know you are there. AND

I believe you!

Many years ago, I lived that darkness.
I doubted myself.
I doubted my memories.
I was afraid.

I thought I’d be a terrible advocate.
I didn’t have a “clean” survivor story.

Why would anyone believe me?

I wasn’t simply abused,
Or simply molested,
Or simply propositioned,
Or simply harassed,
Or simply beaten.

My life was full of villains
Full of tragedies
And full of victims trying to protect themselves from the evil surrounding us.

No one protected me.
Each abuser groomed me for the next.
I blindly tried to navigate the darkness,
Stumbling into the arms of an almost never-ending line of monsters.

I wondered if I was forgettable,
Invisible
Created to be used and abused (Romans 9:21)

Are all families as messed up as mine?

When I cried, I was told
I was overly dramatic
Too sensitive, or
Making stuff up.

And sometimes I believed them.

Happy Childhood Abuse Mom

My mother was hostile
And defensive.
My mother said I was lucky
Other people had it much worse than I did.

Why would a mother dismiss her child’s cries?
Or write a new narrative?

People have many reasons for dismissing us.

I know there are women with stories worse than mine.
Perhaps my mom’s story is worse than mine
My story doesn’t negate theirs
And theirs doesn’t cancel out mine.
Nor do our stories refute yours.

It’s not a contest
No one wants to enter a contest like that
And no one wants to win.

From the safety of the light,
I see you crouching in the dark.
I hear your sobs.
I see your tears.
I know you are there. AND

I believe you!

RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) 800.656.HOPE (4673)

5 Comments Add yours

  1. This is just so heartwrenching and brought me to tears. I don’t know if its fiction or part of your reality but no child should go through this hell of being abused and then being misunderstood and not being trusted by their parents.
    A wrote something similar a few days back. Take a look , if you have time.

    https://meghasworldsite.wordpress.com/2018/01/22/confession/

    Like

    1. Karen says:

      Sadly this is actually very true. I grew up in a very abusive family and was raped by my brother’s friends, among other things which I’ve blogged about.

      Thankfully I escaped my abusive family.

      This post was written for a friend who after sharing a list of abuses said between sobs that her mother doesn’t believe her so “I guess they didn’t happen”

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh Karen, I feel so sorry that you had to go through all this gut wrenching pain in your early years. But I salute your bravery that you have the strength to confront your horrors in life and heal by writing about it. I will definitely take a look.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. It’s a really beautiful poem. Difficult, but also uplifting. Thanks for posting.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Karen says:

      Thank you lagiraffaminor, for taking time read my work and letting me know your thoughts.💙

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s