Warning: Not a happy people post

Yesterday, I reposted Crying in the New Year because last year’s election, grief, illness, the cold, gray skies and holidays  made 2017 a really tough year for people I love and who love them.

Actually I should post it every year because for many of us, holidays are painful.

Yet every year some idiots feel the need to refute the pain or reality of others. They scream foul at anything they think rains on their happy parade.

Please stop yelling at sad people. It doesn’t help. 

Let’s treat each other the way we want to be treated when we hurt. 

To the ‘don’t ruin my day screamers’, my advice is the same I  apply to horror films and books – don’t read or watch what you don’t like. Just stop reading and go about your happiness.

To everyone else, 

Hello! Yesterday, a brave friend reached out to me and shared their angst.    And more importantly, they asked a very important basic question we all ask ourselves when we “grieve.” 

In my opinion, depression is a very long and deep grief session.   

Her question, So you used to cry daily too? Sometimes for no reason in particular! Just extremely sad.

It is the question we all ask when we are hurting , “Am I alone in all these tears?”

And my answer:

I cried daily.

I often wondered if anyone ever cried themselves to death.

I cried in my closet when I was a kid because of my horrible family.

I cried most Decembers because it was never a happy month because my mother always got crazy trying to make Xmas perfect. 

It’s hard to be happy with Xmas after being beaten within inches of your life. 😢 Ouch!
(FYI Christmas is happy. XMAS not so much)

And I cried for an entire year, almost every moment after my favorite brother took his own life. #suicide

I cried at least a decade after my next favorite brother died practically a year and a week later in January.

I cried while in counseling during college and later. 

I finally cried over stuff I should have cried over when they happened like child abuse, neglect, domestic violence and rape.

And as noted in the post, I cried to and from work and sometimes at work when my daughter was so sick for so long.
And finally after everything was good – I was safe, away from toxic people, loving family and friends – I cried after I turned 40 and menopause kicked in with severe depression (crying, thoughts of dying etc…).

I knew it was chemical so a Wellbutrin a day keeps the rain cloud away. And panic meds help with #MeToo triggers.

#NoShame in needing meds or counseling or a shoulder to cry on.

In short, friends please feel free to message me if you need a prayer or a reminder that you’re not alone. 

I’m sorry depression is so hard for many people close to us to understand.

Keep reaching out. You are not alone.